The Day I Confessed.

Awake upon the realisation that varsity is not a stepping stone is not the only thing I experience during internship period. If you have read my last few writes, I have been seeing someone lately. We did went out for a few dates and I think it is one of those best moments in life yet.

When I go out with her, it is not only happiness rekindle in my once innocent life but I learnt a lot from her as well. When we are on semester, I would travel to Kuala Lumpur to find her. I get to experience things I never thought it would come to me this fast - travelling alone. What's more? I'm on a tight budget. I learn how to be independent and wiser. See, 2 lessons in 1 already. But seriously, although we were from different streams, different course, different uni, yet somehow we clique. We exchange ideas and knowledge well yet we share the same passion for things (not the same things though). I know what you wanna say - "But you guys live like 300 km away from each other..." Well to me, distance is not a problem since we only started seeing each other. Plus its good to have a little own private time to do the things that you truly love. Honestly, I do not really like girls who are too clingy on their counterpart. Yes, you will miss them but think again, if you really love someone, you would marry him/her already. By that time you see each other every day till you sien (tired). The solution for that is a little small advice here: You might not be always together now, but when you do, always leave surprises for your significant other (it might not necessary be gift, it could be some part of you that he/she never knew you had). Take me for example, she loves dancing and always say I cannot dance, little does she knows I dance too.......... Nah, that's one huge bullshit cow dung. I don't dance. Laughing?? Yay, I'm funny. Plus points for me please. =)

So now it comes down to just one question right? "So, Admund, have you confessed to her??"
The answer is yes. But it turns out funnier and unexpected than I thought. The other day I was hanging out with her and her brother, it hits me with the realisation that I wanna be with this girl for eternity. So after I drop them both at her house, I gave her a little call. Toooottttt~~ Tooooootttt~~ The most nervous tone I ever heard in my life. She answers the call. 

...

I was suppose to tell her about how I feel but in 0.00000001 seconds I changed my mind of asking her out and tell her directly in front of her. So I asked her out like this: "Amy(not her real name), you wanna go out this Saturday?" She replied it so friendly that she didnt get the meaning. So I ask again " No Amy, I mean do you wanna go out?" The answer was a long one but let me change to men's language - no.

So I thought she didnt understand what I wanted to say, I have to tell her that I have feelings for her. So I try typing out on Facebook. She still don't get it. Finally, I would type I love you. However, the word 'love' as I learnt from friends that it is a word too powerful it will scare a woman away. So I changed it to 'like'. She gives me a long statement which I don't understand, so I asked my friends to translate into simpler language - no. Oh, well I guessed that's that. Although I didn't give up on her, but I know what I must do. Buddha once taught that if you love something, set it free. We did not chat any lesser on the Internet after that but if I could observe lately from her profile, I think her heart already belongs to someone else... and although I would give her my blessings because she deserves her happiness but if it were to be really true, it's going to be hard for me. *start chanting~~ I must not be selfish~ I must not be selfish~ I must not be selfish~*

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