Fed Up

After having bonding camp today, I didn't felt tired at all. In fact, I feel like doing something more. So this is what I plan after bonding camp:

- Have a meeting on the upcoming modern dance for CNY event with the dance lead
- Visit KK2 fellas
- Play Tetris Battle till I'm out of energy

This is what I did
- Broke a mirror
-Go KK4 for dinner with only 3 person
- Nothing.
- Draw flow chart for tomorrow's experiment

While you think it's not that bad at all let me tell you what happen in between. I texted the dance lead let's called her V for a meeting at 9 because I wanted to tell her everything so by tomorrow's meeting, she'll be ready to lead the dancers on what to do already. Then, a friend of mine W texted EVERYONE to go KK4 (I was happy) turns out, only 3 (Me, W and M - another friend) person appear accompanied by W's bicycle farts. On the way back, I did mention to M about the meeting. She says she'll text me whether she wanna go or not. This is important. She WILL text me whether she wanna go or not. I give her this option due to her friend said wanted to visit her room later.

I came back from KK4 around 8. Then I saw another friend named J posted for la-teh session (something like socialing). I actually wanted to go however I already promise to go for the meeting so I told J my intention to come but I couldn't so he cancelled it. By 8.10pm, V texted me to go la-teh - WHAT????? How about the meeting?

"You bring your laptop there la. We can discuss there.Or after la-teh la."

This girl really don't know how to sort priorities (She puts FUN first before WORK, you know F starts a earlier than W) but I don't blame her for that. She has an attitude of doing last minute work - clearly CNY event is 17 days away and she can still drag that bloody meeting away. However, that wasn't the case. As I fear M may still wanna go for the meeting I'll wait for her till 9. SHE NEVER TEXTED.

So, I went la-teh at 9.10 assuming that M given up on the meeting. When I was there, there she was playing happily with the others. Hey B***h, I waited for you!!! You could have just shout out my name when you pass my room. You could have texted me you are going to la-teh as well. You could have told me - "Dance meeting? F**k it!! I'm not interested in that" Instead, she went something like this "I'm part of the unit also. So I think I should join as well."

What's for la-teh today?? Monopoly DUEL - Interesting game. Watch my friends played a thousand times. I never played before because it's always fullhouse back in Penang. So as usual, I watched them played. Thinking maybe they could share some tactics on what to do next. Turns out, I was given the cold shoulder. No one talks to me. Everyone in their own 'game' world (Gosh I miss Penang). We 'saints' really have a word in ourselves - Sharing is caring. I guess it doesn't apply to other schools where what they teach is only curriculum education. Seriously, one of them playing named R rather exposed his cards to his opponents rather than letting me see it. All of them talked about "partnership"... Erm... HELLO!!! I have experiences in share market!!!! I know what to do next. I'm sitting right here. I didn't talk doesn't mean I'm dumb.

In the end, R talks to me. "Hey, I printed the lab modules already."

"Ya, me too"

"Have you drawn the flowchart?

Thinking to myself "GG" however half of my mind wanted to join the game. So I decided to sit a while longer. 

Nothing happen to me.

"I think I'll go back and do the flow chart. You guys enjoy!"

"Bye!!" finally everyone responded.

I know some of you may be thinking. Why didn't you voice out your f**king opinion that you wanna play?

Well, in UMP there is some do's and don'ts around. During semester 3, J would asked me to let him know if I'm going out to eat as he wants delivery. I only went out a few times because I fear that they might also go out but I'm already outside. I would have miss the opportunity to hang out with my friends.

One day, I found out that they went out deliver back to a girl here and didn't asked me. So I asked R "You went out. Why didn't tell me??" R - No reply.

R didn't talk to me for a few weeks. I felt something a missed. Therefore, on a fine Saturday morning I decided to call him asking him what wrong have I done.

"No la nothing."

"You serious?"

"Actually that day when you said I never told you that we went out

I felt like scolding you. If you were not my friend, I think you kena already.

I hold back."

"I'm sorry. What can I do to change?"

"Only time can change back the way we were last time.

We won't be so close anymore. I thought I knew you."

So, some can do it some cannot. Depends on your look most of the time. This is how UMP students role. 

Looks +5pts

Smart -20pts

Smart+Looks +50pts

Play intrument +30pts

Wear specs -30pts

Got invited and you EVERYTIME say yes -50pts

Excel in sports +20pts

I'm on the negative side for sure. So I cannot do it.

Then, what about the dance lead? She promised you for a meeting already.

This one is my fault. I blame myself for having a weak heart.

Then what about M? Why didn't you scold her like how R tell he would have scold you.

There is this one case that I scolded a girl in front of everyone (because I paid attention more to her rather than her teachings which ended up not understanding - I hated myself and end up scolding her for why she could take control over my mind). Everyone boycotted me. Imagine I scold another girl. I bet the whole university would have boycott me.

Why didn't you text M in the first place that she didn't text you at all. 

I'm free. She may not be. She might have guests which I previously told you already.

This post I'm not asking for anyone f**king pity but in fact I couldn't take it anymore. I have to let it go somewhere. So I chose here rather than hurting others again. If you think I'm still in the wrong, please post your questions here and I'll answer it  more on the situation above. Please feel free. No holds barred. You can also be anonymous.