29th April 2011
Note: This is a unsupposed-to-release post. However due to my recent events, I decided to release it in remembrance of my creative father.
"Ahhh~~ After today, then I'm down with one last paper." thought to myself the first thing I woke up today. "After these, I'll be able to accompany my mom visits to the hospital." Then went out, had a bath, called Jia Han up, had breakfast and get dressed. These were my usual routine for two semesters now and finally it's coming to the end of my first year. Today was my second to last final examination papers - Engineering Mechanics. Some say this papers is gonna be tough but I silently thought to myself, I'm a Form 6 Physics student its to my advantage, plus I had lots of revision with Jia Han before this including the one that involves Angry Birds. I depart for the Exam Hall with Jia Han early, though the weather is bright outside but the sun hasn't rise behind the hills yet.
The paper starts at 9 in the morning. By fifteen to eleven, I was already out of the hall accompanying Jia Han who left about 5 minutes earlier. By 11, we reached our room. 15 minutes later, Jia Han went out from the room saying he has lent someone else his calculator and decided to wait at the cafe in case that guy left the hall early. I was happy and nothing to do and the next paper is 5 days away so I decided to accompany him with my detergent. Yea ~ I met him after putting my clothes in the washing machine. We chat a little, worried that guy did not return the calculator a little and all sorts until he asked me for like the third time saying "Nevermind lar, no need to wait with me. You go up first." Took my shirts a couple of minutes later, hang them up and decided to watch CN Blue Comeback that Jia Han gave which he took from Wen Qi which took from Celine (I think). Halfway watching through my roomates cellphone rang, before he could answer it, the call hung up.
"Who's that?" I asked.
"I think it's your Mom." Ah Boon (my roomate) said.
"Very funny" Turned back to my 14 inch laptop and continue watching.
A couple of minutes later, Jia Han entered my room.
"Admund, you have a call."
My heart began to tremble at that moment. Some voices in my head keeps telling me "Please let it be good news. Please. God. Please. Not at this moment." I gather some courage and took the phone.
"Hello?"
There was no reply. Only sobbing sounds. My finger ran cold. Sweats coming out from me from the parts of my body I didn't even know where to identify. Then came a voice which most of the time in my life I find warmth.
"Chuen, you listen carefully. The doctor has already used the final needle. The doctor said he has only a few more hours to go. You have to come back."
"But I still have finals going on. And how am I gonna find a bus now?? Even if I did it's 9 hours away."
"Just come back okay? Please~~"
"I'll go Kuantan now and try get a bus."
"Let's go now." Jia Han in his usual steady voice said after the phone was hung up.
We rented a car immediately even though we are going to Kuantan that night. During the journey in the car, I played "To Zanarkand" as I have my moment of silent for my father. Ever wishing he can talk to me for the last time. Ever wishing at least give a warning before this happened. Ever wishing I DID NOT COME TO THIS SCHOOL so I can spend more time with him before this. I would do anything to spend at least the extra 5 minutes.
Once reach the terminal, I ran up to buy bus tickets, but to no avail. I came down. Call from Mom came in.
"Hello?"
"Koko, you listened properly. Don't panic. Dad just passed away." my brother said it in such a tone that he sobs more than my mom.
"Hey you are a guy. Guys don't cry."
"I can't okay? You better come back fast." talking as if he's gasping.
"I'm trying my best here! Don't cry like a baby!!" I shouted with frustration. For my ability to do nothing. Then. I started do things by all means. I phoned a senior begging him to exchange tickets with me. Begging him to sit my Thermodynamics paper. Ask Jia Han to fetch me to the airport. Ticket counter closed. Called Gan asking him to try booked for me online. The website wrote "Please visit the sales counter."
With no solution to think of left. We headed back to the campus. On the way, I thought of lots of stuffs.
On when was the last time I joked with him. Can't remember as we joke too often. On when was the last time I talked to him. In a phone call, 2 days before he went comma. I was happy to tell him I got scholarship interview and one of it is from Top Glove. A company he recently went for an interview. On when was the last time we meet up face to face. A few days after Pai Ti Kong, at the airport. He couldn't make it at first but somehow like God arranged he managed to sent me off the boarding gate. That was also the third and the last time I hugged him since I was a little boy. On how he teaches me to love music. To love the cinema. To think that family comes first. Of all the lessons he ever thought me on how to become a better man.
(He never teaches me anything on tackling girls though.)
Upon reaching UMP, I lie down on the bed to think of solutions. It took me around 30 minutes before I resolve to my last solution - my aunt living in Klang. Many does not know this, but yes I have an aunt that lives in KL. I called her, she asked me to fly from Kuantan to KL. Hefty price of RM215 for a plane ticket. I resolve to bus again. As the sun began to set, our group's journey began to set off too. I bought the earliest bus possible to Selangor 11.30 for a particular section (not sure what section it is). Thankfully I have a few good friends that waited with me for the bus. Upon boarding, I first called my mom and asked about the situation. The journey then was a lonely one. I managed to find Ivy to text with though its quite a number of messages, but she seems like a nice girl which puts friends more important than money. However, I decided not to tell anyone on this situation yet as I fear it may results in changes in friendship like what money does to my father's siblings and friends. My last hope before the clock strikes 12 that night is that God has never invented death.
Today is 29th April 2011. Rest in Peace Dad.
Teh Peng Lam, 1958-2011.
"Ahhh~~ After today, then I'm down with one last paper." thought to myself the first thing I woke up today. "After these, I'll be able to accompany my mom visits to the hospital." Then went out, had a bath, called Jia Han up, had breakfast and get dressed. These were my usual routine for two semesters now and finally it's coming to the end of my first year. Today was my second to last final examination papers - Engineering Mechanics. Some say this papers is gonna be tough but I silently thought to myself, I'm a Form 6 Physics student its to my advantage, plus I had lots of revision with Jia Han before this including the one that involves Angry Birds. I depart for the Exam Hall with Jia Han early, though the weather is bright outside but the sun hasn't rise behind the hills yet.
The paper starts at 9 in the morning. By fifteen to eleven, I was already out of the hall accompanying Jia Han who left about 5 minutes earlier. By 11, we reached our room. 15 minutes later, Jia Han went out from the room saying he has lent someone else his calculator and decided to wait at the cafe in case that guy left the hall early. I was happy and nothing to do and the next paper is 5 days away so I decided to accompany him with my detergent. Yea ~ I met him after putting my clothes in the washing machine. We chat a little, worried that guy did not return the calculator a little and all sorts until he asked me for like the third time saying "Nevermind lar, no need to wait with me. You go up first." Took my shirts a couple of minutes later, hang them up and decided to watch CN Blue Comeback that Jia Han gave which he took from Wen Qi which took from Celine (I think). Halfway watching through my roomates cellphone rang, before he could answer it, the call hung up.
"Who's that?" I asked.
"I think it's your Mom." Ah Boon (my roomate) said.
"Very funny" Turned back to my 14 inch laptop and continue watching.
A couple of minutes later, Jia Han entered my room.
"Admund, you have a call."
My heart began to tremble at that moment. Some voices in my head keeps telling me "Please let it be good news. Please. God. Please. Not at this moment." I gather some courage and took the phone.
"Hello?"
There was no reply. Only sobbing sounds. My finger ran cold. Sweats coming out from me from the parts of my body I didn't even know where to identify. Then came a voice which most of the time in my life I find warmth.
"Chuen, you listen carefully. The doctor has already used the final needle. The doctor said he has only a few more hours to go. You have to come back."
"But I still have finals going on. And how am I gonna find a bus now?? Even if I did it's 9 hours away."
"Just come back okay? Please~~"
"I'll go Kuantan now and try get a bus."
"Let's go now." Jia Han in his usual steady voice said after the phone was hung up.
We rented a car immediately even though we are going to Kuantan that night. During the journey in the car, I played "To Zanarkand" as I have my moment of silent for my father. Ever wishing he can talk to me for the last time. Ever wishing at least give a warning before this happened. Ever wishing I DID NOT COME TO THIS SCHOOL so I can spend more time with him before this. I would do anything to spend at least the extra 5 minutes.
Once reach the terminal, I ran up to buy bus tickets, but to no avail. I came down. Call from Mom came in.
"Hello?"
"Koko, you listened properly. Don't panic. Dad just passed away." my brother said it in such a tone that he sobs more than my mom.
"Hey you are a guy. Guys don't cry."
"I can't okay? You better come back fast." talking as if he's gasping.
"I'm trying my best here! Don't cry like a baby!!" I shouted with frustration. For my ability to do nothing. Then. I started do things by all means. I phoned a senior begging him to exchange tickets with me. Begging him to sit my Thermodynamics paper. Ask Jia Han to fetch me to the airport. Ticket counter closed. Called Gan asking him to try booked for me online. The website wrote "Please visit the sales counter."
With no solution to think of left. We headed back to the campus. On the way, I thought of lots of stuffs.
On when was the last time I joked with him. Can't remember as we joke too often. On when was the last time I talked to him. In a phone call, 2 days before he went comma. I was happy to tell him I got scholarship interview and one of it is from Top Glove. A company he recently went for an interview. On when was the last time we meet up face to face. A few days after Pai Ti Kong, at the airport. He couldn't make it at first but somehow like God arranged he managed to sent me off the boarding gate. That was also the third and the last time I hugged him since I was a little boy. On how he teaches me to love music. To love the cinema. To think that family comes first. Of all the lessons he ever thought me on how to become a better man.
(He never teaches me anything on tackling girls though.)
Upon reaching UMP, I lie down on the bed to think of solutions. It took me around 30 minutes before I resolve to my last solution - my aunt living in Klang. Many does not know this, but yes I have an aunt that lives in KL. I called her, she asked me to fly from Kuantan to KL. Hefty price of RM215 for a plane ticket. I resolve to bus again. As the sun began to set, our group's journey began to set off too. I bought the earliest bus possible to Selangor 11.30 for a particular section (not sure what section it is). Thankfully I have a few good friends that waited with me for the bus. Upon boarding, I first called my mom and asked about the situation. The journey then was a lonely one. I managed to find Ivy to text with though its quite a number of messages, but she seems like a nice girl which puts friends more important than money. However, I decided not to tell anyone on this situation yet as I fear it may results in changes in friendship like what money does to my father's siblings and friends. My last hope before the clock strikes 12 that night is that God has never invented death.
Today is 29th April 2011. Rest in Peace Dad.
Teh Peng Lam, 1958-2011.
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